Understanding the Nervous System in Motherhood: Freeze and Fawn Response

When we think of trauma responses, we often think of the concept of “fight or flight”. But there are actually two additional responses that play a major role in how we cope with stress and overwhelming experiences: freeze and fawn. This is especially common in motherhood.

These responses are protective survival strategies cultivated in the nervous system to help us get through situations that feel unsafe or overwhelming.

What is the Freeze Response?

The freeze response happens when your nervous system perceives danger and decides that fighting or escaping isn’t possible. Instead, the body goes into a shutdown or “stuck” state.

You might notice:

🌿Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected
🌿Difficulty making decisions or taking action
🌿“Spacing out” or dissociation
🌿Feeling physically heavy or stuck

This is the nervous system’s way of conserving energy and protecting you from overwhelm.

What is the Fawn Response?

The fawn response involves prioritizing the needs of others over your own in order to stay safe or maintain connection. Moms, sound familiar?!? It often develops in environments where conflict, rejection, or emotional unpredictability was present. Think: taking on all of the nighttime feedings to avoid disappointing your parter or agreeing with medical decisions for your child that you are uncomfortable with.

You might notice:

🌿People-pleasing or over-apologizing
🌿Difficulty saying no
🌿Suppressing your own needs or opinions
🌿Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions

Fawning is often an adaptive strategy to maintain safety through connection.

Why These Responses Matter in Therapy

Understanding freeze and fawn responses is an important part of trauma-informed care and nervous system healing. These patterns are learned survival strategies that can be gently rewired over time.

In therapy, we focus on:

Healing doesn’t mean “getting rid” of these responses…it means learning how to recognize them and create more choice and flexibility.

You Are Not Stuck This Way

🌿Increasing awareness of nervous system responses
🌿Building emotional safety and regulation skills
🌿Strengthening boundaries and self-trust
🌿Supporting the body in returning to a sense of safety
🌿Healing doesn’t mean “getting rid” of these responses—it means learning how to recognize them and create more choice and flexibility.

If you recognize yourself in these patterns, you are not alone. These responses once helped you survive. With support, it is possible to feel more grounded, connected, and in control of your choices.

Work With Me

I offer trauma-informed therapy in New York and Texas, specializing in anxiety, nervous system regulation, and trauma recovery including freeze and fawn responses. If this resonates with you, you can reach out to schedule a consultation or learn more about working together.

Jennifer Wirfel, LCSW, PMH-C

Owner of Rise Up Counseling LCSW, PLLC

RiseUpCounselingLCSW@outlook.com

Book a Consult

When Anxiety Feels Constant and Exhausting

Anxiety itself isn’t “bad”. It actually is very useful. It is the state our nervous system experiences when we need extra awareness. Like when a tiger is chasing you and you need to get to safety as quick as possible. Or when you need to prepare for a test and you nervous system is giving you that extra motivation to study just a little more.

When it isn’t so helpful, is when it is constant. Feeling consumed by anxiety makes everyday life feel heavy, draining, and hard to slow down. For many people, anxiety shows up as nonstop overthinking, racing thoughts, physical tension, irritability, trouble sleeping, or a persistent sense that something bad might happen… even when life looks “fine” on the outside.

You may be replaying conversations over in your mind, worrying about the future, struggling to relax, or feeling emotionally and physically on edge. Over time, this can begin to impact relationships, work, concentration, self-esteem, and your ability to fully rest. It puts you in a state of “the tiger is chasing me!” even when it isn’t. That disrupts our nervous system and puts us out of balance.

Anxiety is not simply “overreacting” or being weak. More often, it reflects a nervous system that has learned to stay alert in order to stay safe. For some, anxiety develops after stressful life experiences, trauma, burnout, or long periods of emotional overwhelm. While this protective response can be helpful in short-term situations, living in a constant state of activation becomes exhausting over time.

How therapy with me can help with anxiety

In therapy, we focus on understanding what is happening underneath the anxiety. This may include exploring patterns, triggers, nervous system responses, past experiences, and how anxiety is affecting your daily life and relationships.

In the perinatal period this can be really common. Worrying about how much or how little the baby is sleeping, ruminating over medical decisions, jumping at every little noise baby is making. Our nervous system is wired to be alert as moms – but it can become overwhelming to the point of having intrusive thoughts that are hard to shake.

The goal is not to “get rid of anxiety overnight,” but to help your system feel safer, more regulated, and more supported so that anxiety no longer runs the show.

Therapy with me often includes trauma-informed approaches such as EMDR, nervous system regulation strategies, grounding techniques, mindfulness skills, and deeper processing of past experiences that may be contributing to current anxiety.

Telehealth anxiety therapy in New York and Texas

I provide virtual therapy for adults across New York State and Texas who are navigating anxiety, trauma, chronic stress, and emotional overwhelm. I specialize in perinatal challenges, including perinatal anxiety/OCD as well as PTSD, which often times has a hypervigilant component.

Telehealth therapy allows you to access support from a private, comfortable space while still engaging in meaningful, consistent therapeutic work. Many of my clients find that virtual sessions make it easier to stay connected to therapy even during busy or stressful seasons of life. Childcare canceled? No problem! Bring the kiddos to session!

You don’t have to carry this alone

However you may be feeling, I promise you- you are NOT alone in that experience. Whether your anxiety feels loud and intense or quiet and constant in the background, you do not have to keep managing it by yourself. Therapy can help you better understand your anxiety, reconnect with yourself, and move toward a greater sense of calm and peace. And if you are a mom – it allows you to fully enjoy motherhood. The way it should be.

If you are seeking support for perinatal anxiety or trauma, I offer virtual therapy for adults in New York and Texas.

Jennifer Wirfel, LCSW, PMH-C

Owner of Rise Up Counseling LCSW, PLLC

RiseUpCounselingLCSW@outlook.com

REACH OUT TODAY